88 points | by redmattred 3 hours ago
25 comments
"Hi, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
"Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"
"Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
"OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke."
"Ok, I will hear a TCP joke."
"Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"
"Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."
"Ok, I am about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline."
"Ok, I am ready to get your TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have an explicit setting, and ends with a punchline."
"I'm sorry, your connection has timed out. Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"
I was asked in an interview to explain the difference between TCP and UDP.
I knew about enough to fill an index card: enough for an adequate interview answer, but not enough that I would relish getting follow-up questions.
While deciding what to say I started with this joke. The interviewer laughed and moved on to the next question. I got the job offer.
You can't guarantee delivery of any message. This is the basis of the 2 generals problem.
Or alternatively:
> I would UDP joke tell you a… but you get it might not.
packets udp bar walk a into
This was out of order.
Well played
In the same vein, here are some goodies:
- Jon Skeet facts: https://meta.stackexchange.com/questions/9134/jon-skeet-fact...
- Chuck Norris facts: http://www.betterprogramming.com/chuck-norris-programming-fa...
Bruce Schneier Facts: https://www.schneierfacts.com/
Here is an ICMP joke,
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Thank you
If you want to hear a great ICMP joke just ping me
Failed to shout it loud enough to make an echo. It TTL'ed 3 hops away.
There are two kinds of people when it comes to UDP.
Which are those?
Btw, it reminds me of "10 kinds of people, those who understand binary and those who don't"
There was list of such jokes for 40+ protocols, past and present, but I cannot find it anymore, only small part on different blogs and forums :(
This may not be the exact one you were thinking of but very similar kind of collection: https://attrition.org/misc/ee/protolol.txt
I'd share my joke about HTTP here, but it makes me feel insecure.
Mix it with TLS joke
IP UDP we all P for TCP
I think I prefer the punchline “I don’t expect you to get it, and it’s not a big deal if you don’t, happens to everyone”
Put a cork in it.
Did I get it ?
Ulster says NO! :
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ulster_Democratic_Party
https://youtu.be/M1sCNdfMMZA?t=19
ght get it liYou mike this though
"get not you might it but"
"Hi, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
"Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"
"Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
"OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke."
"Ok, I will hear a TCP joke."
"Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"
"Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."
"Ok, I am about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline."
"Ok, I am ready to get your TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have an explicit setting, and ends with a punchline."
"I'm sorry, your connection has timed out. Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"
I was asked in an interview to explain the difference between TCP and UDP.
I knew about enough to fill an index card: enough for an adequate interview answer, but not enough that I would relish getting follow-up questions.
While deciding what to say I started with this joke. The interviewer laughed and moved on to the next question. I got the job offer.
You can't guarantee delivery of any message. This is the basis of the 2 generals problem.
Or alternatively:
> I would UDP joke tell you a… but you get it might not.
Or alternatively:
> I would UDP joke tell you a… but you get it might not.
packets udp bar walk a into
This was out of order.
Well played
In the same vein, here are some goodies:
- Jon Skeet facts: https://meta.stackexchange.com/questions/9134/jon-skeet-fact...
- Chuck Norris facts: http://www.betterprogramming.com/chuck-norris-programming-fa...
Bruce Schneier Facts: https://www.schneierfacts.com/
Here is an ICMP joke,
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Thank you
If you want to hear a great ICMP joke just ping me
Failed to shout it loud enough to make an echo. It TTL'ed 3 hops away.
There are two kinds of people when it comes to UDP.
Which are those?
Btw, it reminds me of "10 kinds of people, those who understand binary and those who don't"
There was list of such jokes for 40+ protocols, past and present, but I cannot find it anymore, only small part on different blogs and forums :(
This may not be the exact one you were thinking of but very similar kind of collection: https://attrition.org/misc/ee/protolol.txt
I'd share my joke about HTTP here, but it makes me feel insecure.
Mix it with TLS joke
IP UDP we all P for TCP
I think I prefer the punchline “I don’t expect you to get it, and it’s not a big deal if you don’t, happens to everyone”
Put a cork in it.
Did I get it ?
Ulster says NO! :
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ulster_Democratic_Party
https://youtu.be/M1sCNdfMMZA?t=19
ght get it liYou mike this though
"get not you might it but"