A large percentage of the homeless have autism [1]. And that really sucks. If these people don't have support, their lives can turn miserable fast. And unfortunately it's just way too easy for these people to end up in abusive situations.
It's a lot of work to care for people with autism (moderate to severe). There is no standard for what they need, their capabilities can be all over the board. Some of them are capable like ronny in this story and they can hold down jobs. But others need 24/7 caregiving in order to survive. Unfortunately I don't think those with severe autism survive for long when they become homeless.
I hope this story at very least gets people to view the homeless a little differently. They aren't all there because of vices or failure. A large percentage are there because society does not care for those with mental disabilities. It was good on this story to highlight that Ron had problems with gambling. Autism does, in fact, make an individual more prone to various addictions.
My point in writing this, please have some humanity about the homeless. I get that they can be inconvenient. They are people and they aren't necessarily bad people due to their circumstances.
In the US, the homeless population exploded, in the 1980s, when they closed down all the mental institutions. Before that, there was a far less pervasive homeless population in urban areas.
Being "on the spectrum," myself (but highly functional), I can attest to how easy it is for an autistic person's life to go sideways. Many autistic folks have very specialized and advanced skills, which can sometimes be applicable to making a living (like programming, or visual design).
However, we're "different," which often leads to being shunned/traumatized by neurotypicals. I got used to folks eventually walking away from relationships, for no discernible reason. Used to really bother me, until I figured it out. Now, I just take it in stride, and appreciate whatever time I get to spend with folks. If anyone has seen The Accountant (the first one), there's a scene, near the end, where Ben Affleck's character is considering putting the moves on Anna Kendrick's character, but remembers his father, admonishing him that people will always end up being frightened of "the difference," and he sneaks out, instead. That scene almost brought me to tears, I could relate so well.
For some folks, it's much worse. They can be relentlessly bullied, abused, locked up, or shunned, which leaves psychological scars that manifest as antisocial behavior, so they are never given a chance to show what they can do.
Non-neurotypicals can receive bad treatment from neurotypicals. But, it's also a trap to start thinking that neurotypicals are 100% intolerant.
The corollary of not knowing when they're offending people, is that they also don't know when they're receiving tolerance - which is actually a lot; although it's understandable that this is not obvious.
Thankfully LLMs have ingested enough of human writing that one afflicted in such a way can describe the exact set of circumstances and ask the LLM how they made the other people feel, and figure out why they got expelled from the group this time. It never stops happening for us. I'm 42 now and it's happened twice this past year. But at least now I can figure out what it is I did wrong and how to prevent that from happening again.
People like this really are at the mercy of fate, and the people they come into contact with throughout their lives. Its so unfair. But thankfully this story had a good outcome.
Happy Christmas to you and everyone else here as well :)
My parents once took a struggling man in. I think he stayed with them for about three years, up until the moment I was conceived and my mom started planning for a future for our family and helped him get into a housing project. For all of my life before adulthood this man would show up once in a while on his racing bike for coffee, talk and proceed to stay for dinner. He was kind, funny and a tidbit strange. His life's story had more drama than a soap opera, but you wouldn't know it. After my father died I proceeded to look for him, but never found him. I still search online for him once in a while, fully knowing he probably isn't alive anymore and probably wouldn't use online anyways. There is some story in my head that he probably showed up to my dads doorstep once on his racing bike to find other people living there, but was too shy to ask for details. A trace lost.
Ronnie led a rich life. I feel ashamed that my selfish life feels pale in comparison. It's amazing these people did not worry about the extra expense and inconvenience of taking care of another person, with children of their own to take care of.
Different people are different I guess. Extra expense and inconvenience also wouldn't bother me. Instead I'd be worried that one day this guy is going to kill everyone while we're sleeping. How well do you really know someone? How well do you really know someone that just showed up at your door days before?
Lets say M is "being murdered" and A is "stranger in the house", "not A" is "person known to the victim in the house".
The numbers you're quoting say that P(not A | M) is large, implying that P(A | M) is small.
However, to make a decision on whether to let someone in, I care about P(M | A).
You need to exercise that critical thinking more. You just heard someone say "the murders are known to the victim" and you instantly dropped your common sense.
Sure, but in France we have about 100/150 feminicides per year. You're much more likely to be killed by your (seemingly "sane") partner in a bout of fury over a breakup than by some random autistic guy
One thing that spending time talking to people online has taught me is how often what people say is just mindlessly repeating something they heard somewhere.
It's also fantastic how I find your response more persuasive than mine, while using fewer words. Well done.
The random family member, hoping they're in your will, and you having drank all their wine, has more reason to kill you, if we're going there, than some random stranger, not less. In the ridiculously off chance that's even remotely a real possibility.
Isn’t that kind of a lesson learned though? Hitchhiking is illegal for a reason. We don’t let children run as freely outdoors . A lot of states are rewriting or adding exemptions to statutory limits on pressing charges and suing for certain crimes because they happened during a period of time where people assumed you could trust people more. Being cautious and distrustful of strangers with mental issues is a very productive way of thinking. I get people think it’s a fren because fren shaped but give em a couple bucks , and contact a professional to get them help. It sucks there are so many mentally ill people on the streets. That doesn’t make them any less dangerous and the honest truth is there’s a weird line between personal freedom and mental illness that means it’s their right to be a crazy homeless persons. You can clean em up set them up in apartment but you can’t force them to use their benefit payments to pay the rent, keep their apartment clean, or take their medicine. Help them if you can , but please please also don’t forget that people are dangerous. Use some common sense, the last thing anyone needs is more people in the news getting hurt by people with mental illness . It’s just makes it that much harder to get compassionate care for the rest.
Wait, hitchhiking is illegal (in the US presumably)? (Supplemental question: how do you make hitching illegal?)
In the UK I've met many interesting people both while hitchhiking myself, and while picking up hitchers. It is a practice that seems to have almost entirely disappeared here, not because it's illegal, but I guess because most people now have cars and some "stranger danger" worries.
As for "how": legislature passes a law against it like any other traffic law. Similar to jaywalking or prostitution (soliciting sex on the side of the road).
Yeah, I mean if anybody invited me into their home in such situation, given the current society we live in. There's a very high chance their wife would become my girlfriend. I would probably act autistic when the husband gets home. Anything to avoid being homeless.
I would perceive it as a moral act too... I mean the husband is a lawyer. It wouldn't be difficult to find a narrative framing which would make me the good guy.
Ah, brilliant plan. Before governments there were no homeless. Maybe now we can have a for-profit corporation take care of homeless services to really squeeze all the efficiency out of the system. Just like they did for the prisons.
How I wish such blithe, naive approaches could solve the major social quandries of our time. Unfortunately experience and time have proven lack of support is a death sentence to so many, to the detriment of all.
Beautiful story but with a sad undertone.
A large percentage of the homeless have autism [1]. And that really sucks. If these people don't have support, their lives can turn miserable fast. And unfortunately it's just way too easy for these people to end up in abusive situations.
It's a lot of work to care for people with autism (moderate to severe). There is no standard for what they need, their capabilities can be all over the board. Some of them are capable like ronny in this story and they can hold down jobs. But others need 24/7 caregiving in order to survive. Unfortunately I don't think those with severe autism survive for long when they become homeless.
I hope this story at very least gets people to view the homeless a little differently. They aren't all there because of vices or failure. A large percentage are there because society does not care for those with mental disabilities. It was good on this story to highlight that Ron had problems with gambling. Autism does, in fact, make an individual more prone to various addictions.
My point in writing this, please have some humanity about the homeless. I get that they can be inconvenient. They are people and they aren't necessarily bad people due to their circumstances.
[1] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29633853/
Happy Christmas, folks!
> please have some humanity about the homeless
In the US, the homeless population exploded, in the 1980s, when they closed down all the mental institutions. Before that, there was a far less pervasive homeless population in urban areas.
Being "on the spectrum," myself (but highly functional), I can attest to how easy it is for an autistic person's life to go sideways. Many autistic folks have very specialized and advanced skills, which can sometimes be applicable to making a living (like programming, or visual design).
However, we're "different," which often leads to being shunned/traumatized by neurotypicals. I got used to folks eventually walking away from relationships, for no discernible reason. Used to really bother me, until I figured it out. Now, I just take it in stride, and appreciate whatever time I get to spend with folks. If anyone has seen The Accountant (the first one), there's a scene, near the end, where Ben Affleck's character is considering putting the moves on Anna Kendrick's character, but remembers his father, admonishing him that people will always end up being frightened of "the difference," and he sneaks out, instead. That scene almost brought me to tears, I could relate so well.
For some folks, it's much worse. They can be relentlessly bullied, abused, locked up, or shunned, which leaves psychological scars that manifest as antisocial behavior, so they are never given a chance to show what they can do.
Non-neurotypicals can receive bad treatment from neurotypicals. But, it's also a trap to start thinking that neurotypicals are 100% intolerant. The corollary of not knowing when they're offending people, is that they also don't know when they're receiving tolerance - which is actually a lot; although it's understandable that this is not obvious.
Thankfully LLMs have ingested enough of human writing that one afflicted in such a way can describe the exact set of circumstances and ask the LLM how they made the other people feel, and figure out why they got expelled from the group this time. It never stops happening for us. I'm 42 now and it's happened twice this past year. But at least now I can figure out what it is I did wrong and how to prevent that from happening again.
I'm trying to understand this better, possible to share any examples?
what did you do wrong?
People like this really are at the mercy of fate, and the people they come into contact with throughout their lives. Its so unfair. But thankfully this story had a good outcome.
Happy Christmas to you and everyone else here as well :)
My parents once took a struggling man in. I think he stayed with them for about three years, up until the moment I was conceived and my mom started planning for a future for our family and helped him get into a housing project. For all of my life before adulthood this man would show up once in a while on his racing bike for coffee, talk and proceed to stay for dinner. He was kind, funny and a tidbit strange. His life's story had more drama than a soap opera, but you wouldn't know it. After my father died I proceeded to look for him, but never found him. I still search online for him once in a while, fully knowing he probably isn't alive anymore and probably wouldn't use online anyways. There is some story in my head that he probably showed up to my dads doorstep once on his racing bike to find other people living there, but was too shy to ask for details. A trace lost.
Ronnie led a rich life. I feel ashamed that my selfish life feels pale in comparison. It's amazing these people did not worry about the extra expense and inconvenience of taking care of another person, with children of their own to take care of.
> I feel ashamed that my selfish life feels pale in comparison.
You’re still alive, thus you still have the chance to live a more selfless life you feel proud of.
> It's amazing these people did not worry about the extra expense and inconvenience of taking care of another person
Seems to me they did worry, but decided to do it anyway.
> with children of their own to take care of.
The children came later, and Ronnie helped to take care of them.
Different people are different I guess. Extra expense and inconvenience also wouldn't bother me. Instead I'd be worried that one day this guy is going to kill everyone while we're sleeping. How well do you really know someone? How well do you really know someone that just showed up at your door days before?
“Overall, 76% of female murders and 56% of male murders were perpetrated by someone known to the victim.”
https://bjs.ojp.gov/female-murder-victims-and-victim-offende...
> “Overall, 76% of female murders and 56% of male murders were perpetrated by someone known to the victim.”
> https://bjs.ojp.gov/female-murder-victims-and-victim-offende...
Lets say M is "being murdered" and A is "stranger in the house", "not A" is "person known to the victim in the house".
The numbers you're quoting say that P(not A | M) is large, implying that P(A | M) is small.
However, to make a decision on whether to let someone in, I care about P(M | A).
You need to exercise that critical thinking more. You just heard someone say "the murders are known to the victim" and you instantly dropped your common sense.
Sure, but in France we have about 100/150 feminicides per year. You're much more likely to be killed by your (seemingly "sane") partner in a bout of fury over a breakup than by some random autistic guy
Bayes' law, many more people have romantic partners than former homeless living with them.
Thank you!! I just commented the same thing, but people will eat any meme you throw at them, it's quite shocking.
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=46384274
One thing that spending time talking to people online has taught me is how often what people say is just mindlessly repeating something they heard somewhere.
It's also fantastic how I find your response more persuasive than mine, while using fewer words. Well done.
I dont think that's a useful way of thinking.. A well known family member could also randomly kill you. Either one is extremely unlikely.
We don't give everyone guns, which helps a lot.
The random family member, hoping they're in your will, and you having drank all their wine, has more reason to kill you, if we're going there, than some random stranger, not less. In the ridiculously off chance that's even remotely a real possibility.
Isn’t that kind of a lesson learned though? Hitchhiking is illegal for a reason. We don’t let children run as freely outdoors . A lot of states are rewriting or adding exemptions to statutory limits on pressing charges and suing for certain crimes because they happened during a period of time where people assumed you could trust people more. Being cautious and distrustful of strangers with mental issues is a very productive way of thinking. I get people think it’s a fren because fren shaped but give em a couple bucks , and contact a professional to get them help. It sucks there are so many mentally ill people on the streets. That doesn’t make them any less dangerous and the honest truth is there’s a weird line between personal freedom and mental illness that means it’s their right to be a crazy homeless persons. You can clean em up set them up in apartment but you can’t force them to use their benefit payments to pay the rent, keep their apartment clean, or take their medicine. Help them if you can , but please please also don’t forget that people are dangerous. Use some common sense, the last thing anyone needs is more people in the news getting hurt by people with mental illness . It’s just makes it that much harder to get compassionate care for the rest.
Wait, hitchhiking is illegal (in the US presumably)? (Supplemental question: how do you make hitching illegal?)
In the UK I've met many interesting people both while hitchhiking myself, and while picking up hitchers. It is a practice that seems to have almost entirely disappeared here, not because it's illegal, but I guess because most people now have cars and some "stranger danger" worries.
https://hitchwiki.org/en/United_States_of_America
As for "how": legislature passes a law against it like any other traffic law. Similar to jaywalking or prostitution (soliciting sex on the side of the road).
https://hitchwiki.org/en/United_States_of_America
As for "how": legislature passes a law against it like any other traffic law. Similar to jaywalking
Is hitchhiking illegal in the US?
According to the Wikipedia there are laws in some localities, but I don't think they are widespread.
Yeah, I mean if anybody invited me into their home in such situation, given the current society we live in. There's a very high chance their wife would become my girlfriend. I would probably act autistic when the husband gets home. Anything to avoid being homeless.
I would perceive it as a moral act too... I mean the husband is a lawyer. It wouldn't be difficult to find a narrative framing which would make me the good guy.
I'm not crying! You're crying!
Is someone cutting onions in here?
Don't worry I'm crying enough for both of us.
It's kind of emotional and happy story at the same time.
Oh I‘m definitely crying. What a touching story.
Indeed
beautiful... kindness can go a long way :) we could all do better (and I point mostly at myself now)
Yes, it's very touching story. Incredible people.
> If you wanna make the world a better place
> Take a look at yourself and then make a change
<3 MJ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PivWY9wn5ps
Merry Christmas!
Would not have expected to ever find those lines quoted on HN. Thank you. And Merry Christmas!
A properly touching Christmas story. It’s made my day.
Heart warming story. Thanks for sharing.
Reminds of this documentary of the Spring family: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azxCUOE6srI (20m)
Some seemingly ordinary people have superhuman ability.
This is why we need to take government out of the homelessness equation, so citizens can have more money to help
Ah, brilliant plan. Before governments there were no homeless. Maybe now we can have a for-profit corporation take care of homeless services to really squeeze all the efficiency out of the system. Just like they did for the prisons.
Imagine how much more efficient churches could be at taking care of the homeless if their tax burden was reduced! Oh, they don't pay taxes? Weird.
How I wish such blithe, naive approaches could solve the major social quandries of our time. Unfortunately experience and time have proven lack of support is a death sentence to so many, to the detriment of all.